Thursday, April 30, 2009

Saying It Out Loud

I realized today that when I was working as a large law firm lawyer, I never enjoyed it. Sure, there were great moments with colleagues and personal achievements that I was proud of but there was never a sense of fulfillment. At the end of the day, I was most passionate about my pay check...and even that wasn't enjoyable because most of the time, it went to pay bills and the massive amount of loan debt I amassed in law school. Don't get me wrong. I still love the law but corporate law firm life was NOT why I said "I want to be a lawyer when I grow up" when I was 8 years old. Now that I am in my current pickle, I have found myself looking for another job with a certain sized paycheck. I haven't been looking for something I can be passionate about. And, as you know, I haven't met with any success. So today, I am saying it out loud. I don't just want a job. I want to earn money for something I love doing. During my down time, the thing I've been doing is writing. It's my outlet. Its something I've always loved so, despite my aversion to risk and my need for a steady paycheck, I want to write. I have already been forced to scale back financially. I may need a job to help everything move along (and to get health benefits) but writing for a living is the goal. I am scared but I know I can do anything I put my mind to. Fear ends where faith begins, right (thanks, RR)?

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