Monday, June 8, 2009

Drafts and Doubt

Last week, I finished the first draft of a book that's been almost three years in the making. I also finished one that I started at the beginning of this year. The proofreading process has started and while I am happy I finished the first drafts, I am being plagued by doubt. She's knocking and ready to move all of her baggage into my de-cluttered world. Finding a way to publish a book in a down economy might be a bigger challenge than finding a job. I'm nervous because I don't know what is waiting around the corner. I have been nervous since I wrote the last chapter of one of the books last week. I even started back applying for legal jobs with more fervor.

Then, after a morning filled with cover letters and resumes, I started going through my books and making edits. The television was on in the background and I was only half listening when I heard someone say "Your purporse in life is to let your hardships be your passion. Use your voice to tell your story." It was reassuring to me because in trying to write my first non-fiction book, more often than not, I have asked "Who cares?" Hearing that quote reassured me about what made me write the book in the first place. Someone shares my story and reading my story may help them or help them better relate to a loved one. Later, at the end of the same newscast, there was a story about an increase in book sales. Of course, it was more about fiction and how people need an escape, but it made me smile towards heaven anyway. It was the pat on the back I needed. The mantra has to be one step at a time and my first step is to get through the proofing process.

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