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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Insomnia

I am laying here with my little family. Storm (my cat) is laying on my belly and periodically trying to push my blackberry out of my hand. My husband is snoring softly beside me. I am awake after 3:00 in the morning for the 4th night in a row. For some reason, I am suffering from insomnia yet again. In the past, my sleep schedule has reversed (I'd sleep all day and be up all night) but this time, I don't seem to be able to sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours in a given 24 hour period. I have been using my time to be productive with respect to my book. I got comments back (thanks MP) and have had to do some heavy editing. Fresh eyes provide great perspective. The rest of my life has fallen to the wayside. I haven't cooked since sometime last week. I need to go grocery shopping and the house is a mess. I have spent time with friends (catching up and celebrating birthdays) but I seem to be off center. Its like I am moving in slow motion yet the days are passing so quickly. I have a goal but I don't know what my next step will be. I don't know how I'll make money while I'm shopping my book. Heck, I don't know how to shop my book. Should I be going back to school instead? Should I find some continuing legal education classes and try to convince people that I'm more than a bankruptcy lawyer? Should I represent people in personal bankruptcies? So many questions and today I feel like I don't have the energy to create the answers or give myself a pep talk. I am still learning to accept that I can't control everything and that the answers aren't always there. All I can do is keep working on making a career out of my passion and hope for peace in the process...and sleep. I am working towards a solid 8 hours of sleep.

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