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Monday, May 14, 2012

Motherly Love

Mother's Day has taken on a bit of a different meaning for me this year. Well, maybe not so much different as multifaceted. It is still a day for me to honor and celebrate the mothers in my life for all the love and support they give all year. I try to make a conscious effort to do that throughout the year but I do take time on Mother's Day to show how appreciative I am for a superhero rock star mom, a stepmom who loves me like her own and a loving and doting mother in law.

At the same time, I am grappling with my own desire to become a mother. This year has been interesting (read: complicated) so far. Last year, I started planning for my first child and really thought I would be pregnant by now but we all know what they say about making your own plans and expecting God to laugh. He must be having a giggle fit with me and all my plans lately. That said, I've had time and motherly counseling to work through all of this and I am at peace with where I am. If I am to be a mom (and I have faith that I am), I will be--no matter how the children get here.

I armed myself with that thought and used it as a mantra as I moved through the world yesterday. I remembered it as I called my mom and my step-mom to wish them a Happy Mother's Day. I repeated it to myself as I went to dinner with my mother-in-law (who is craving grandchildren and talking about the possibility of them non-stop). I drew on that peace in the mantra as I saw pregnant moms and moms with new babies. I thought about how each of those moms to be has a story of how she got there and how she's doing. Then, there are those around me dealing with a similar plight...wanting a baby and quietly moving through the world repeating their own mantras every time they see a child with its mom. It's comforting to know I am not alone.

The famous "they" say that women all turn into their mothers eventually. I don't believe that is true for everyone but I do see it happening in my own life and I love every moment of it. Over the years, my mom has become my peace guru and an amazing counselor. She loves with a sense of compassion that has helped me get through health issues, work issues, financial issues and everything in between. She helps my mind stay on the positive side and reminds me that nothing is impossible with God. If I can be half the mother she is to the children that I pray for everyday, those are going to be some lucky kiddos...and they'll have the added benefit of having her for a grandmother. Love my mom!

If you are a mom or a mom-to-be (or both), I hope you had a wonderful mother's day. If you are pressing towards being a mom, I'm with you. We will get there.


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